After a long hiatus , I thought of getting back to the blogging world which serves me more than anybody else and admittedly which is something I both missed and avoided in the last couple of years.
Torn between who will read my gibberish and why do I even want to share it with the world, where more often than not you are judged rather than accepted or understood for who you are or want to be? at one end to what is the point hiding behind the veil and not allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to keep it real? at the other, I had given in to the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of getting it all wrong and had forgotten that my main motivation for blogging was to understand my own self. In the words of Flannery O' Connor, " I write to discover what I know." So, with this post, I remind myself that essentially I want to blog to be able to connect with myself more deeply and in process if I also get to connect with like-minded individuals that'll be a bonus. After all, connection is all we seek with the source within and the world outside. Isn't it?
So, without much ado, let me start with this blogpost, which is about understanding your own self. Like always, I don't have anything planned as I write this, so this is more in the line of morning pages as they call it, where you just open your diary and get started with whatever thoughts that come out of your head and allow the words to flow. So here, I go...
I think in the pursuit of happiness and fulfilment, we focus more on the prospects and trends out there than on understanding who we truly are, what shapes our goals and what values drive/guide us? It may sound cliché, but this is the reality today. We know more about our neighbours or a movie actor than we know about ourselves. We know what's trending but not why we feel the way we do for certain people, places and things. We can give a long talk on the technologies of the future but cannot even describe ourselves in five lines. And even in situations when we introduce ourselves to others, we talk more about our family, our place of origin, our professional inclinations/achievements and to some extent our hobbies. All of these attributes certainly have some role to play in shaping our identities and personalities but we are not limited just by these and are certainly much more than our degree certificates, professional standing, family background, marital status and even our hobbies.
I think to a greater extent we have been so conditioned with the societal functioning that we have forgotten our true nature and purpose. We have forgotten that we are all lightworkers, we are all healers, we are all lovers, we are all students , we are all teachers ,we are all peace loving and truth seeking individuals and more importantly all of us matter and all of belong together. But do we really know what does that really mean? Do we ever ask ourselves , how are we adding light in this world? or what do I do to create/ maintain peace in a day/ in my surrounding? or what does it mean to truly love ourselves and others? or what does it mean to be true to ourselves?
We are unique in our individuality yet similar in our basic nature and purpose. And somewhere along the way, we have forgotten the link between the two. The more we align with our basic nature and purpose, the more we will become who we truly are.
But, sadly we are more influenced by the society/external environment, that we forget there is more to us and life than the boxed illusion that we have created around us. We live more in accordance with the unwritten yet dominating rules of the society of getting a degree by certain age, getting married by certain age, having children by certain age, etc. etc. and the list goes on and alas! we are judged by these rules all the time and everywhere. Those who question the rules are seen as crazy outliers. Unfortunately, we end up becoming goals that society defines for us. Nothing but goals. I am a graduate. I am married. I have two children. I have a big house of my own. I am everything but a HUMAN. Period.
Now in my mid thirties, I understand what's wrong with the world more than ever and the daily observations of the society around me hit me even hard. I feel sad that I belong to a society where most of the people have lost their voice and identity either by force or by choice.
Amongst the many ironies that are present in our society, I leave you with one that I find really ridiculous:
If you have switched many companies in the line of your profession , it adds to your resume and you are considered as someone with a wide range of experience in the field. However, when it comes to your relationships, one failed marriage becomes such a taboo for you. Why can't it also be seen as a stepping stone to better , healthier, fulfilling relationships? After all, we are all humans. We learn through experiences and we cannot be completely sure of anything ever- be it in our professional or personal life. Then why the difference?
Strange, isn't it? But such is the state of the world, my friend.
Your comments are welcome.
